We're All DOOOOOMED! But Not Really.

It occurs to me that a lot of my posts are... Well, terrifying, if I'm completely honest. "This happened to me. That happened to me. It's going to happen to you." Etc. I try to emphasize that my complications are the result of not taking care of my diabetes when I was younger, and that you, my commentless audience, run the same risks. When - not if - they happen to you, they will probably happen differently.

That being said, let's all take a deep breath and consider this statement: "Diabetes is the healthiest disease you could ever have." It sounds like utter nonsense. "It's a disease, ya dummy. Diseases ain't healthy," you say to me. And you're right. Diabetes, however, is the one disease that makes healthy eating and exercise key parts of its management.

"But Rob... I'm like you. I'm so old that I'll be turning into crude oil on my next birthday." Well, I feel your anguish in that regard. If you're 40+ years old and have been diagnosed as Type 2, you might have had decades to develop poor eating habits, and the most exercise you get is lifting a fork to your mouth. Diabetes imposes a sense of urgency in changing those habits, and you should. But asking you to get a gym membership and overhaul your eating habits overnight would be unreasonable. (And yet doctors will ask, anyway.)

Allow me to make two immediately horrible suggestions on the dietary front. My go-to snacks are pork rinds and string cheese. (No, I don't peel the cheese. I bite into it like the savage that I am!) If you're a young diabetic, you can dig into these things as much as you want because - and here's the kicker - ZERO CARBS! Yes, pork rinds and string cheese have no carbs to upset your blood sugars.

BUT - and there's always a "but," isn't there? - these snack items are absolutely terrible for fat and salt content. Older diabetics need to be on top of those things, especially if a cardiologist has been added to the list of doctors you need to see regularly. The reason I get away with eating such garbage is because my cholesterol is under control and I haven't been retaining water.

"Hey, Rob... What about sugar free candies? I can eat plenty of those, right?" No... for a few reasons.

1. "Sugar free" does not mean "carb free." As bothersome as it is, look at the labels. Eating so many pieces equals one serving size, and that serving will have a carb count. It's annoyingly deceptive to make such things look like a good dietary replacement when they really aren't.
2. The cost. I don't know about you, but I'm not made of money. Sugar free candy comes in nearly microscopic packages and two or three times the price of a full bag of the sugary stuff. It's just not worth it, especially because...
3. They may have a laxative effect! Yeah, this one caught me off guard at one of the worst moments in my life. Mind you, I learned of this effect before it struck because I was bored and started reading the near-empty tin of some sugar free hard candies someone gave me. And right there, in the tiniest print possible, were the words: Caution! May have a laxative effect. That was not a good day.

Like my post made to Type 2 diabetics, diabetes mellitus is ultimately annoying in many aspects of its management. Reading food labels...? Utter pain in the tuchas. But it's also essential if you want to maintain good glucose control.

Now for the exercise. If you are young and slim, this shouldn't be too difficult. Heck, if you're older and slim, it's still not much of a problem. Remember that obesity isn't the sole cause of Type 2 diabetes. Just maintain an active lifestyle and all should be well.

If you DO decide to kick your exercise routine up, do it incrementally! A drastic increase while still taking your previously established medication doses could have adverse effects on your blood sugars! You could also hurt yourself if you try to do more than what your body is prepared to handle. Don't start with 100 pushups. Start with 10... then two sets of ten... then three... etc. Build your way up to it. Yes, you might feel a bit of pain initially. "No pain, no gain" and all that. But if the pain is extreme, LISTEN TO YOUR BODY! You're doing too much. Back down a bit. Obtain reasonable goals in a reasonable amount of time.

Or become a cyborg. Because cyborgs are cool.

For heavier folks... This is going to be rough. Your body is already struggling to carry the extra weight, so your true physical condition is a HUGE variable. I urge you to talk to your doctor about this! Y'see, I'M STILL NOT A DOCTOR! (Yeah, I know it's been a few weeks since I said it, but one doesn't earn an M.D. or D.O. in a couple of weeks, especially when not going to med school at all.) Instead of going right into an exercise regimen, your doctor may recommend physical therapy to get you started.

In fact, while I'm recommending seeking professional help, you should also probably consult a dietician about the changes you need to make to your eating habits. If you say, "Some guy in the internet suggested pork rinds and string cheese," I promise that you'll get disapproving looks from a dietician. 

The reason why my PCP hasn't complained about my dietary choices is because... Well, I've made it 48 years as a Type 1 diabetic and I'm still not dead, (despite my best efforts). My cholesterol is within normal range thanks to the statin I'm already taking. (A statin is for controlling one's cholesterol.) My Hgb A1c has been between 6.0 and 7.0 for seven or eight years, so I might as well keep on truckin' the way I have.

Try to keep in mind that this blog is meant to be educational and amusing, but that I'm not a medical professional. I could be a "professional diabetic," since I have decades of experience. But there's more to learn, and "doing your own research" on the internet can only take you so far. I'm not reading medical journals or attending lectures on new treatments. I'm hoping to educate and warn you against the consequences of mismanaging your diabetes, and hopefully make you smile along the way.

But if you'd rather "do your own research," then look up images of "diabetic foot ulcers." "Diabetic blisters." "Diabetic retinopathy." "Vitrectomy." "Charcot foot x-rays." Those images might bring more than an education than reading these pesky words. They might also include trauma, which is always fun, right?

This post became something of a mess, but that will happen when a dozen ideas pop into my head simultaneously. My main message is that you try to take immediate steps to alter your lifestyle, but it's okay to take two steps forward and one step back. As long as you're moving toward proper care of yourself and your diabetes, then all should be well... or at least better.

And now...

This... will take too long.

Hang on...

This is Jane Douglas. She is "YouTube famous," has a degree in physics, loves video games, and has a brilliant smile. I love her. She is my wife, even if she doesn't know it. In fairness, I've sent divorce papers to her in an effort to allow her to escape, but by addressing them to "Somewhere in England," I doubt they'll reach her.

(Jane, if you ever see this, please don't hate me for being silly. My blog isn't monetized, so I'm not using you in that regard. I'm using you to make me look ridiculous. But you are beautiful, and if an old troll like myself even stood a chance with a lovely woman like you, I'd at least ask you to... ummm... come over and help me clean my apartment, because it's starting to get away from me, and I could really use the help. 🙂)