My Poor, Beleaguered Psyche

Welcome back. We need to talk a bit about psychology, folks. I know, I know. You'd rather we didn't. "Got enough on my plate right now, Rob. Thanks, but no thanks." Alas, it can't be avoided.

Before I go on, however, I need to be clear that what I'm going to discuss are things I've learned through conversations and experience, not from extensive reading. Some of the people I've spoken to were medical professionals. Some were not. All of them contributed in some way to my way of thinking.

The diagnosis of a chronic illness brings with it a degree of emotional trauma. It really doesn't matter what the illness is. If the illness is permanent, it's going to require a mental shift in how you view yourself and the world around you. 

Heck, I've developed allergies to A LOT of plant-like substances that travel through the air in the last few years, causing my nose to not only shut down, but throb as it does so. And, yes, you CAN develop allergies later in life. With all of the things I've already mentioned in this blog, do you really think I was able to accept one more thing with any degree of casualness? NNNNNOPE! Had I been even slightly religious, I would have stepped outside and raged at the sky... after I took a fistful of antihistamines first, of course.

Diabetes is kind of a double-whammy, because a lot of people also have trypanophobia - a fear of needles. People who are willing to jump off a diving board into a pool of nails will experience a spike in their blood pressure at the very suggestion that they might need to have a needle inserted into them, be it for a blood test or to receive medication. If I had a dollar for every time I heard someone say, "I could never take shots. I'd rather die," I'd have... Well, not enough to be rich. Just a lot of dollars.

My response is always, "Then die, you shall. Painfully. Diabetes doesn't care about your fear of needles. It will end you." They don't understand, of course, but inside my head I'm picturing the symptoms of diabetic ketoacidosis. Unquenchable thirst (polydipsia). Constant urination (polyuria). Vomiting so hard and so often, even when your stomach is empty, that blood vessels break beneath the skin in your face. Desperate, deep breathing (Kussmaul breathing) as your body tries to expel acid through your lungs. And weakness so profound that you literally have difficulty lifting your arms.

Of course, I've never heard of someone outright refusing insulin injections due to a fear of needles. 

A lack of control of diabetes means you're going to wind up piling on new diseases later on. And with each new diagnosis comes that psychological impact. Imagine accumulating these as you grow older.

1. Diabetic retinopathy - a leading cause of new blindness.
2. Diabetic neuropathy - permanent nerve damage.
3. Charcot foot - advanced diabetic neuropathy.
4. Diabetic nephropathy - permanent kidney damage.
5. Cardiovascular disease caused by diabetes.
6. Diabetic blisters - actual cause beyond uncontrolled diabetes is unknown.
7. Gastroparesis - inability to digest food properly.
8. Diabetic gum disease!

Yeah. Number eight. Look at it. Sounds absurd, doesn't it? To be truthful, it's not that diabetes causes damage to your gums. Due to the weakened immune system of Type 1 diabetics, however, diabetics are more susceptible to gum disease by way of bacterial infection. So there you are, calling your PCP or dentist to say, "Doc, a near-microscopic particle of food got trapped between my gums and a tooth, and now I need antibiotics because the pain is making me pray for death." 

And did you notice me sneak in a complication I've never mentioned before? Diabetic nephropathy. Kidney damage. I can't begin to tell you how insanely lucky I am to not have this one... yet. Oh, there was a time when I started showing the most minimal signs that it was happening, but then it just "went away." How? No idea. But now my daily routine includes eight ounces of sugar free cranberry juice in an effort to promote the health of my kidneys. 

Recently, I've started experiencing a brand new problem. Carpal tunnel syndrome. "But Rob... People don't need to have diabetes to develop carpal tunnel syndrome." And you're right. Typing a lot, which I do. Using game controllers for near-countless hours, which I also do. These things contribute... until you're told that high glucose levels affect the blood vessels connected to the median nerve, intensifying the pain associated with the nerve becoming pinched. Lately, I've had intense, lengthy bouts of a pins and needles sensation in my right hand. My dominant hand.

Where's my bottle of Dammitol when I need it? (It was a joke product I once saw as a kid, with a "medicinal" label, and the bottle was filled with cinnamon jelly beans.)

I looked it up and found this among

the images. Seems legit.

When one takes into account all of the other stressful nonsense we have to deal with, it's no wonder that we have to add psychiatric care to our list of needs. And for me...? Well, I've told you of my early life and some of the "fun" I endured. Therapy and antidepressants became necessities.

So, lovely readers... There's more. There's always more. But I'm going to save my delves into therapy for my next post, because some of them are sagas unto themselves. Meanwhile, I've decided to let you all get to know me a little more by showing you my beautiful wife.

What do you mean "that's Jenna Coleman"?

Clara from Doctor Who? You're all

insane. That's my wife, Jenna... Coleman...

Wait a minute!